I am both an ambivalent academic and an academic of ambivalence.
I have always been interested in philosophical writings that reveal the underbelly of models of knowledge as mastery that call for the elimination or control of emotion. My work pushes against these characterizations in order to revalue and reframe vulnerability and ambivalence as potential sources of strength and empowerment.
And so, I’m trying to walk the walk by sharing more personal writings as an act of courageous vulnerability—is there any other kind? By revealing my own ambivalence about my experiences within academia (am I a “good philosopher”? what does that even mean?), I hope to encourage a more open conversation about the limitations of dominant culture within academic philosophy (and academia in general) that presents a model of knowledge as mastery and complete certainty.
I see Ambivalent Academic as an act of ongoing public philosophy, where I seek to work through my own experiences of ambivalence and vulnerability in a way that can open up possibilities for more meaningful learning. These reflections help guide what kind of academic and teacher I want to be.
My mum sent me a video recently of me as a 6‑year‑old visiting family in England… I wish I could say that I’m cheerful and helpful in the video. I wish I could say that I’m pleasantly surprised at what I’m like as a little kid. >>>
May 21, 2020
February 29, 2020
October 23, 2019
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